Waiting with Jesus

After years of feeling like I couldn’t get anywhere fast enough, I’m now leaning into a steadier, slower pace of living. You could say that my past was sometimes too fast. In my younger years, I got a few speeding tickets that led to the occasional trip to traffic school. Have I ever mentioned that my husband and I attended traffic school together for our first date? True story.  

Before this hustled mindset reduced its speed, I was always in a consistent mode of hurry up and get there because I might miss something. Not just in driving, but in everyday life too. I found myself rushing to get things done just to prove I could do it. I would quickly clean the bathroom, leaving it half cleaned, just to be finished. Nobody sees this bathroom anyway, right? If I wanted something, I wanted it now, more than I wanted to be taught a good lesson. I made decisions in haste more than I paced. I had a hard time waiting for the better outcome that patience could provide.

What got me thinking about my need to slow and grow is a true story found in Mark 5:21-43. This is where we meet a synagogue leader named Jairus. When his name is introduced, he has fallen at the feet of Jesus after rushing to beg for the healing of his only daughter. In Jairus’ eyes, there’s no time to wait! Jesus immediately goes with Jairus to see his daughter, but as they are walking, a large crowd gathers around them. While being pressed in on every side, Jesus feels power go out from him and pauses. The sudden pause accrued due to a woman’s faith that if she could just touch Jesus’ clothes, she will be made well. Her faith does indeed heal her, but as her healing is granted, Jairus’ hope for immediate healing of his daughter is put on pause. On top of needing to get back as soon as possible, Jairus’ peace gets taken by news that it is now too late—his little girl has died.

Can you imagine what could’ve been going through Jairus’ mind?  

My favorite lesson in the story isn’t specifically read but more seen in the details. Let’s linger a little longer on verse 36. “When Jesus overheard what was said, he told the synagogue leader, ‘Don’t be afraid. Only believe.’”

For Jesus to give this powerful statement to the leader means that Jairus was right beside him. It’s so significant to me that he is still there. Still there, waiting with Jesus. Maybe an internal panic attack was happening on the inside of him? I would imagine so, but we don’t see him running ahead of Jesus. We don’t see him running off yelling, “forget this, I’ll do it myself!” We don’t see him rushing to squeeze in one last moment with his only child. Instead, we see Jairus renewing his strength in the waiting. We see him learning to trust in Jesus. And of course, Jesus shows him, and us, that an interruption in the journey doesn’t mean the trip is canceled.

“Don’t be afraid. Only believe.” Jesus himself knew the feelings of grief. As he was Savior of the world, he was also a human in the world. He knew how the spiritual and physical things worked in harmony, and how things were about to work together for the good. Two miracles happened that day. A woman with a 12-year issue of blood was healed and a 12-year-old girl was brought back to life. Jesus always has enough grace to go around, and in this case, a pause in the journey brought even more glory to God.

I’ve noted that Jesus was never in hurry. He always accepted his interruptions and gave intentional attention to each of them. Now it’s time for me to accept the interruptions and be intentional to each situation that needs my attention. No more trying to get ahead of the car beside me, only to be stopped by the same red light anyway.

As I’m learning to lean into the pauses of life, I’ve been taking more relaxed breaths, reminding myself there’s no rush. Even if the car in front of me is slow, it’s helping me not get a ticket. Taking time with my heart’s desires, not racing to get them done. Giving myself space to think things through. Pumping myself up to clean the bathroom really good this time.

Whether it’s in the everyday things or your spiritual needs, don’t get ahead of Jesus. You might miss out on something much greater.

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A Dormant Season