Part 1: Beauty In The Broken

Has there ever been a time when you allowed what others might think to hold you back and keep you bound? Worried if they see you lifting your hands in worship, or praying out loud for a friend, or even asking for prayer? 

I remember my first time ever seeing people lifting their hands in worship. It was August of 1998 and a new friend asked me to attend a concert. I said a big, “YES,” because I loved concerts. Of course, in my world at that time, the only concerts I knew were Aerosmith, Dave Matthews, and Prince. So, when I learned we would be attending a Christian concert–I didn’t even know those were a thing–I knew I would be a bit out of my comfort zone. Here’s why: as the music started and I stood in the middle of the room with my new Abercrombie and Fitch outfit on and cute leather backpack over my shoulders, I remember grasping the straps of that backpack in confused examination as to what was happening around me. People were worshipping, but in that moment, I didn’t know that’s what it was called. They were lifting their hands in awe and surrender to God, as I was wondering, “What are they doing? Smelling their arm pits?” 

I was criticizing something that I didn’t understand. That is, until 2 weeks later, when I would find myself ushered by the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit, taking the first step in surrendering my life to Jesus, lifting my own hands to His hands. It was the greatest decision I have ever made.

Once I had started living my life fully for Jesus it still took me almost 10 years to get over the fear of what others might think if I tried praying out loud or asking for prayer.  Sometimes, I still allow pride to keep me from asking for prayer. Do I really want people to know that I struggle? Hello, if you’re human then you struggle. God gave us the ability to pray for that reason!

In Mark 14 one sweet sister, just may have cracked the lid to a new level of tenacity, audacity, and sincerity when it comes to stepping out despite what others are saying. Let’s meet her together.

While he was in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at the table, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured it on his head. But some were expressing indignation to one another: “Why has this perfume been wasted? For this perfume might have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they began to scold her.

The Bible says she came, meaning she stepped out. Despite what others were going to think, she came to Jesus as she was. Then, she broke the jar, and she poured the whole jar of oil on Jesus’ head. The people behind her were fussing about the actions taking place before them. They were calling this woman’s offering a waste. Basically, saying her ministry was not needed, because the perfume could have been sold for a whole year’s wages and given to the poor. 

But rather than allowing their thoughts to stop her, or listening to their comments, she put her attention on Jesus. She took Jesus at His every word. Absorbed everything He said, unlike the disciples who allowed His words to go in one ear and out the other. They just didn’t grasp the fullness of what Jesus told them regarding his death, but she believed, and she took it to heart. She listened the three different times He said He was going to die in chapters 8, 9, and 10. She understood Jesus’ final hours were just ahead of Him and she understood the depth of His willingness. 

As if she was on a mission, once she broke the jar, she couldn’t go back. There was no second guessing. No time to say, “oops, it was an accident.” Instead, she had to keep progressing. She shows us a true meaning of resolve. Even if she was carrying a little fear along with the jar, she understood that you can’t have faith without a little bit of fear. This reminds me of what Joyce Meyer says, “Do it afraid!” The Bible mentions “fear not” enough times for every day of the year, but it doesn’t say that we won’t feel fear. We just have to take the first step to get through it.

You know that nudge in your spirit, when your heart is beating fast? When you know it is something you’re supposed to do? You feel that it is God’s call. Everything in you wants to step out, but fear is telling you to hold on to your gifts and stay in the corner. Rather than listening to fear, you take that first step. Suddenly, it feels like you’ve broken free. You take a deep breath, and you know you’ve got this, because He’s got you. Your critics begin to get smaller and Jesus gets bigger. This all started with your first step.

But what if she had decided not to step out and break the jar? Jesus would have missed out on the gift she had to give.

What are you holding to? Remember, it’s in our breaking free that we can pour our greatest gifts onto the ones who need it.