Drop The Nets
Skipping stages. That's how the story went for this mom of 3 boys. Let me explain. When Ian, my oldest, was little he journeyed through the milestones and stages of life like any other boy. However, my other two, Isaiah and Eli, didn't always follow suit in the same milestones and stages. They have always wanted to do whatever Ian is doing, even trying to do things before their abilities proved capable. Isaiah wanted to play on a baseball team before he was old enough because he watched big brother do it. Eli wanted to skip t-ball all together and go straight to coach pitch because that's the league Ian was in. Isaiah never really had a favorite Disney Jr. show he liked, because he watched what Ian watched. Eli never went through the superhero stage, because his brothers had already moved on when that stage came around for him. Our home was rid of toys by the time the youngest was 7 because he had no interest in them. Yeah, I never really got upset about that one. I mean, hello, I don't have to pick them up anymore, but there will always be a football flying across the house or a basketball being bounced!
This story continues on even now. When Ian finds a favorite video game, the little brothers fall in line behind him. When Ian has a friend over, his little brothers assume that the friend is there for them as well. These fandom characteristics don't always settle well with Ian. He is his own person who wants to have his own likes and have his own friends to himself. Now, as a mom, I desire for them each to find and develop their own likes and dislikes. I want them to discover their own personalities and purposes.
Watching how my boys eyeball each other reminds me of how we as adults may possibly do the same. Not necessarily with TV Shows or video games, but most definitely with friends, appearances, and careers. We compare and wish to be someone we were never meant to be and therefore, skip our own stages. Stages that God laid out for us specifically to walk through. It's by completing our own stages that we grow at the rate He knows we can handle and achieve. He knows the things we are meant to achieve and when we are ready to achieve them. Somebody else's growing pains cannot stretch us, but God can. He can gently guide us back to our own very special path.
Tucked perfectly in the fourth chapter of Matthew, verses 19 & 20 say, "Follow me," he told them, "and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed him.
I recently read this verse again and discovered something that never existed during the first twenty-something times I had read it before. Instantly, my head shot up in wonderment with the question popping around in my mind like a pinball machine, "What are my nets?" What are the nets I need to drop and leave behind on the shore of my insecurity, so I can fully be the follower of Christ I'm called to be and desire to be?
After much prayer, journaling and, let me be honest, overthinking (which is probably the first net that needed to be dropped), this is what I came up with: I had a habit of unkind thoughts toward myself. I wasn't finding security in Him; instead, I was picking up more and more insecurity when comparing my inabilities to others' abilities.
I can't say that this epiphany brought immediate healing to me. It did, however, awaken my mind, which then led to the daily practice of dropping my nets. I had to start leaning into the stage I'm walking through in this season—the stage that God has laid out for me. I had to start giving myself grace when I don't do things perfectly. It's about dropping the net of me and just focusing on where He's directing me.
It's not about me becoming someone with a great gift, or a great calling like someone else may have right now, but becoming more like Jesus as I follow Him. Day by day. Stage by stage. Celebrating each milestone as it comes, big or small.
As I simply follow Jesus, I'm finding contentment in my stage. Learning that there's grace, freedom, and fun in every stage of our life with Him.
Don't skip your stage trying to walk through someone else's. Every stage has a purpose and He has a purpose for you.